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Some Things Just Fall Apart

by forfeit

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1.
Numb. Split. The look in your eyes is empty now. Even before you said you were leaving we had nothing to look forward to. Heart yearns for resolve, but there is none (there never was with you). Lie still just sink down to the bottom, you can't make me feel anything. Everything is the same down here, we're still unhappy. Running through these stupid jokes, my smile's wearing thin. Sometimes this world takes too much (you don't mean as much to me as you used to), this is the slow death of us. Kiss you on the cheek when I tell you the truth, how I hate myself when I'm with you. So I lie still in this empty room, I could keep my eyes shut forever. Because lying here alone (soon I'll be just a memory) is just like (soon you'll forget all about me) lying next to you. Alone, embraced.
2.
It's getting colder and the water's starting to freeze, no more liquid is coursing through those veins and I have been through enough midwestern winters to know that one of us won't make it out alive. I'm not shocked, just always disappointed that this ends up the same, with me sobbing over sheets that still have the scent of a name. Perfume ghosts residing, multiplying. Ingrained in me now like an oak with a heart-shaped mark and some letters, but my skin's not as thick, so though we grow apart they never seem to go away. Carry this with you (everything inside) swallow the poison (smile and lie) Too old to love (everything inside) so I just despise (everything inside) Tell my mother I'm happy (smile and lie) tell my mother I'm happy. I thought some heartfelt words would get through to you, but I still don't get you, when words and actions have only failed. (I missed the mark and I miss you) We live and die in separate houses and it doesn't matter that I tired to keep you warm. The snow falls thick now, winter's coming. Winter's coming again.
3.
(interlude) 01:19
4.
Cycles 03:46
Obsessing over words to frame my regret. Inadequate just like me. And you, like a bird, wanting the company, but can't be held for fear of being crushed. You can't love who you won't touch (so why'd you let me get so close?) and each night that fall I watched you slip a little further away. I guess I'm a sickness. (the only one you won't live with) Cast aside, run and hide, become a ghost (fade away in time). And you, like a bird, so sick of my company. I never wanted to be the one hanging around sentenced to exist.
5.
Drought 03:37
The summer heat is where we thrived, the summer heat is where we died. I thought I could cultivate love in you and make it grow, but you threw salt in your earth a long time ago. So let it go. Spare me your justifications, you knew this was bound to happen, you did.

credits

released June 19, 2015

Recorded live and mixed by Matthew Frank at Emaciated Raiden Studios during the winter of 2014/2015. Mastered by Will Killingsworth at Dead Air Studios.

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forfeit Chicago, Illinois

alex/zak/ryan/jeff

2014-2017

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