1. |
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numb.
split.
the look in your eyes is empty now.
even before you said you were leaving we had nothing to look forward to.
heart yearns for resolve, but there is none
(there never was with you)
lie still just sink down to the bottom,
you can't make me feel anything.
everything is the same down here,
we're still unhappy.
running through these stupid jokes,
my smile's wearing thin.
sometimes this world takes too much
(you don't mean as much to me as you used to),
this is the slow death of us.
kiss you on the cheek when i tell you the truth,
how i hate myself when i'm with you.
so i lie still in this empty room,
i could keep my eyes shut forever.
because lying here alone (soon i'll be just a memory)
is just like (soon you'll forget all about me)
lying next to you.
alone, embraced.
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2. |
Lack
05:05
|
|
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look up at the sky tonight to map the distance between you and me-
some city blocks, so close, walks home numb my mind.
overcome with the weight of all that could have been;
content with drowning when i tried to teach you to swim.
the ship didn't sink, you threw yourself in.
but this is where I feel at home, regret is all I have ever known.
what do you do when who you are isn't who you want to be?
(now you're a stranger i know)
that november night you made saying goodbye look so easy-
(we held on through summer, the autumn air was colder)
with you in an airport bar
(no hope for the winter, i know that spring won't bring you back)
and me crying alone,
just like when i was with you.
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3. |
Cycles
03:48
|
|
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obsessing over words to frame my regret.
inadequate
just like me.
and you, like a bird, wanting the company, but can't be held
for fear of being crushed.
you can't love who you won't touch
(so why'd you let me get so close?)
and each night that fall
i watched you slip a little further away.
i guess i'm a sickness.
(the only one you won't live with)
cast aside,
run and hide,
become a ghost
(fade away in time).
and you, like a bird, so sick of my company.
i never wanted to be the one hanging around
sentenced to exist.
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4. |
Tremble
06:21
|
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i've been drinking about you and the ways that things haven't happened like you said they would.
why would you need me now that you're all grown?
(shitty people help you feel secure)
i've been drinking about you and the way things haven't happened like you said they would.
i can't go back now, everything has changed.
(clench my fists and grind my teeth down to dust)
i walk around town with my head down so i don't have to see you anymore. focus on the cracks in the sidewalk, count the steps to my door.
sometimes you have to lose a limb to save a body;
sever those ties that attached you to me.
(like my hate, i will grow)
and there are no bridges where I am going
so I'm not afraid to burn yours anymore.
you've had enough time to breathe us back to life,
but you just let me choke.
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5. |
Fold
03:43
|
|
||
suffer through summer
waking up next to you.
too afraid to move
wrapped up in these sheets.
maybe you were a ghost already
(dissipate and disappear)
and i was just pretending it was you.
my blue fades to nothing.
my mouth was only empty movements,
tongue moving carefully.
it will be perfect
and there will be nothing left to say.
everything is lost,
but composure was maintained.
holding on to this last regret
(you still haunt me)
yours is a face i can't forget.
so i'll wait here
like the crucifix at your childhood bedside,
(this petty penance will never do)
just someone you used to believe in.
(all those moments lived for you)
it's so hard to move on with hands and feet nailed to these regrets.
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6. |
|
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so impatient to cross your path, so i caught a train.
i stepped in front of it just to see you again.
i guess sometimes people change,
and some things just fall apart.
as my body gave way so did my nervous system.
i'll finally smile knowing i can't feel anything anymore.
i guess sometimes people change,
and some things just fall apart.
i watched you change, i fell apart.
i tried to put us back together,
the pieces didn't fit anymore.
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7. |
Escape
05:03
|
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||
sunrise, blurry eyes. shaking off the thoughts that play in my sleep.
i'm looking for the greener grass,
but there's just dirt under my feet.
i'm longing for the greener grass-
it will all be over soon.
devastating realizing the weight of this life that you didn't choose.
i'm looking for the greener grass,
but there's just dirt under my feet.
i'm longing for the greener grass-
it will all be over soon.
i hope it's all over soon.
reduced to ash, blown away.
ride the wind, i'm finally free.
so work on your disappearing trick.
(i'll disappear)
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8. |
Void
05:35
|
|
||
no light escapes from where you are.
implosion of a star,
i can't see you.
we have weathered disasters but this one seems
poised to break us.
(greet me with a sad smile and a nod)
we will never be that close again,
(or a blank stare, it looks so natural)
a knife to our youth spent as friends.
you never could outrun what tried to consume you,
said you'd never be like your dad.
now you're chain smoking and you're cursing everything that we had.
this black hole that you loathe, you helped create.
i felt the pull, now you can't escape.
flicker, fade out into the night sky.
i hope they make you happy
(shallow friends in a shallow town)
because i guess i never did,
and i'm tired of losing sleep
(leave me like everyone else)
so fuck it.
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forfeit Chicago, Illinois
alex/zak/ryan/jeff
2014-2017
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